I had a boss once that had this sign above his door:
I interpreted that to mean both that it was not OK to come to him with problems…and that I should definitely NEVER cry.
For many people, this is as it should be. Most people think that our jobs are a place where it’s great to think…and bad to feel. Some employees want to be left to their own devices to think through things on their own and many bosses don’t want problems – just solutions.
Sound familiar?
Here’s what’s changed.
Science has completely transformed our understanding of how emotions and feelings operate and it’s time to bring that information to where we work.
Here’s the truth. Science has determined that there’s no way for humans to think and not simultaneously feel.
Say what now??
It’s true. If the centers in a brain connected to creating and processing emotions are destroyed, humans are no longer able to make decisions.
The simplest emotional decisions we make in life are: I like this; I don’t like that. If that function is impaired, we are no longer able to evaluate anything and, therefore, unable to make any kind of decisions.
Ok, well maybe those kinds of emotions are ok: I like it; I don’t like it. But not big emotions, right?
Isn’t it unprofessional if we’re having emotional reactions at work?
Here’s the rub.
Scientists have determined that we have absolutely no ability to decide what emotions will get created by any given circumstance. It’s automatic. Most people just try to stuff or ignore or avoid it when emotions come up that we find inconvenient.
And here’s the really bad news. None of those strategies actually work and, in fact, have devastating consequences. We’ll explore why and what to do instead next time. Stay tuned!